DON'T PANIC

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels. A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. . ." 

Ever felt like the world was about to be demolished, possibly to make way for a Hyperspace Bypass, or possibly for some more nefarious reason? Yeah, me too. A lot more these days, if I’m speaking honestly. Would you be stylishly prepared if a Vogon Constructor fleet showed up knocking on our door? Would you be surprised and askew in your bathrobe, or fashionably ready to have dinner at the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? 

Well, when you find your planet scheduled for demolition, don’t forget the two pillars of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy methodology: never forget your towel and DON’T PANIC. And that’s exactly what this outfit delivers. This outfit is all about staying cool, being prepared, and looking stunning while doing it all, even if planet Earth suddenly vaporizes. 

Let’s start with the fundamentals: the whole dress is made entirely from towels. Yeah, you heard me right: TOWELS. You’ll never forget your towel while hitchhiking if everything you’re wearing is MADE from them. The top of the dress is a chic black crop-top made from a black towel, with the woven towel trim serving as the top edging of the shirt. It has a cute peek-a-boo slit in the back, and emblazoned on the front and back in large, red, friendly (rhinestone!) letters is the phrase we all need to memorize right about now: DON’T PANIC. 

The skirt is made entirely from hand-cut and meticulously frayed bath towels that are sewn in ascending layers to create flirty ruffles. The whole skirt is dyed a gradient starting with a dark grey at the waistline and fading to a very light grey at the bottom. And let’s not forget the pockets! There are two huge pockets on the front of the skirt, with space for all of the items you could possibly need to grab before you zap yourself up and onto the nearest passing ship. 

 

Oh, and did I mention that all of these towels are recycled from local gyms here in Chicago? They’re all getting a new life instead of getting shredded up and dumped into a landfill.

Of course, you can’t be an intergalactic hitchhiker without a snazzy set of accessories! Let’s start with some snappy red Swarovski crystal earrings that read ‘42’. Because when you know the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, why not show it off? Oh, and don’t forget the adorable white mouse slipper-heels that you can wear from day to evening. Comfortable AND stylish, mouse slippers never go out of style. Am I right, or am I right? The Most Intelligent Creatures in the universe certainly agree. 

So let’s all take a collective deep breath in these trying and stressful times, and know that as long as we wear our towel dress and remember those two friendly words, we’ll make it out of here alive. Even if we do have to listen to some Vogon poetry along the way.

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This outfit was the Audience Winner of the Her Universe Fashion Show 2017 at San Diego Comic Con.